its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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