For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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