pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
