Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
