They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
