he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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