Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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