i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had sex on a roof
Life without a bra equals bliss.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
