we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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