i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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