Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
