How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
