when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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