Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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