dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
