I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
