I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
