Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
