it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
