My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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