i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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