My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
