his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
organizing the empties. That sober.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
