I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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