Tell her she can't have a vagina
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
