so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
