im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
