12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
