I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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