I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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