That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
