just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
