just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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