Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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