i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my shit smells like andre
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
