well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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