I CAN MOONWALK!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
