You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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