I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
