What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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