it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
