Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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