So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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