I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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