Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
