I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
