How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
