So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
