i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
