It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am available for nakedness
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
