I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
