you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
